I did it! I made it to the end of my first teaching period at university. I not only survived, I did well. That I know of so far. Technically the period doesn’t end for another couple of weeks but I have handed in my last assignments, participated in my last online classes and all I can do now is wait. Wait for my assignment results and class results, wait to receive my new class list, wait to start preparing for a busier term next time.
I’m fairly confident I have passes both classes. My assignments have been getting high marks and unless I completely misunderstood what was required for these last 2, I will pass. Passing means, I can do this! I coped with studying, lectures, assignments and classes all while my 4 kids and husband were home for 6 weeks. I did it while working and applying for jobs, while organising Christmas and birthdays.
It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t always fun but it did give me a great sense of self and satisfaction. The first time I did uni, back when I was barely an adult, it seemed like a chore, it was hard to organise my schedule and I thought my professors and classmates weren’t the greatest. This time round it feels much more normal and fulfilling. Is it age, experience or a greater desire to be a teacher that makes this round better?
I used to be concerned with getting high distinctions but this time round I’ve been more concerned with just getting assignments done. And that’s worked for me. Less pressure on myself means that I’ve been getting work done without the late nights and headaches so much. I feel validated when I get my grades back not disappointed if I’m not the top. We were always pushed as kids in my family to get the best mark possible, and while that is an admirable pursuit, I now think the goal should be to put the best effort in and be happy with your work.
I encourage my kids to do well and study hard but I see major differences in my 2 oldest. My son thrives on grades, tests and recognition where my daughter doesn’t. That’s just a stressful situation where someone might tell her she ‘sucks’. I don’t know how much of that attitude is learned or if its nature but with her we certainly focus more on the effort she puts in and trying things that the end results. Last year she competed in a couple of academic competitions that her brother has always achieved top marks in. She was nervous but studied beforehand and walked in with her brother supporting her. I can tell you I was nervous for her! This felt like one of those defining moments, is she as good as her brother because I know she compares herself and looks up to him.
She also had to wait months for the results and when they came in, she was ecstatic, she had achieved 2 distinctions and was 1 point off getting high distinctions. If we had focuses on her getting a high result before the competition, she would have felt pressured and stressed and not performed well. By being proud of her for entering and studying we was more relaxed and able to perform at her best. That’s the attitude I’m taking with uni. I will attempt everything and study and what I get will be good enough.
Next teaching period I am picking up an extra class. I’ll be doing 3 units instead of 2, and if I get the job I applied for I’ll also be working about 3 times more. But I can do this. I have a great support network at home and outside, I have a strong desire to complete this degree and move into my dream job and I know its achievable. I need to use this break of 4-5 weeks to make next teaching period manageable. We have planned to hold our daughters birthday party in a few weeks time, so that’s my next focus. I want to ensure my kids are settled into school again, especially our oldest who started high school, I want to be settled into a new job (fingers crossed) and I want to spend as much quality time with my family as we can before life steamrolls us.
But today, I relax.